its a secret
Excitement is better served without the memory of you.
Its hateful how guilty I feel. For the life I have created for myself. The newness I experience and how elated I am.
I wanted you to share in my joy here. And now that you aren’t I am happy still. How would I have made this all it is with you still by my side? I couldn’t have changed with you as the only presence in my heart.
Now I am in my heart. I desire for myself everything I have made happen and everything I am working towards.
Excitement is so novel. It comes and goes and is best when ripe with drama. But the promise is grandiose and a long time coming. In that one moment everything switched. Attention, focus. My life became my own. And that is raw, and new, and nice.
And obsession misplaced is distracting from loneliness.
But there is something authentic in my experiences to date. Not just simple pleasures to fill my time but life in a new state of mind.
I am smiling because of it. But mostly because of me. I am amazed I have made all this happen. That is just a manifestation of my new life.
Its hateful how guilty I feel. For the life I have created for myself. The newness I experience and how elated I am.
I wanted you to share in my joy here. And now that you aren’t I am happy still. How would I have made this all it is with you still by my side? I couldn’t have changed with you as the only presence in my heart.
Now I am in my heart. I desire for myself everything I have made happen and everything I am working towards.
Excitement is so novel. It comes and goes and is best when ripe with drama. But the promise is grandiose and a long time coming. In that one moment everything switched. Attention, focus. My life became my own. And that is raw, and new, and nice.
And obsession misplaced is distracting from loneliness.
But there is something authentic in my experiences to date. Not just simple pleasures to fill my time but life in a new state of mind.
I am smiling because of it. But mostly because of me. I am amazed I have made all this happen. That is just a manifestation of my new life.